there is no ending
i duno when can i let go of u
feeling is fading
yet it is still here

where am i heading?
i duno..
wat am i doing?
i duno..

perhaps..
im juz lonely....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
been doin heart-breaking thgs
sorry to all
new yr coming...
lets hope we all get a fresh new start ba *^-^*

had a roller coaster life this yr
magical 20th yr of mine
up n down
gain n lost
i walked thru
all of u walked me thru
bo, cat, jilly, lky, ni, ber, xiong, hy, da ting,
mei mei, kl, qi
10Q for walking with me

working
working
working

tats wat i've been doin all since holi

festive season
im working all mid nite shifts

woke up in aftern
bath
go work
rch hm in morning
bath
watch dvd
slp
wake up
work

life goes on like this
at least till sch re-open

gd n bad
get to earn alot
getting exhausted
physically n emotionally
duno when will i collaspe
but i hope e latter could end soon

take care all my love ones
miss u all ~~

ps. Z, pls stop hurtin urself
n stop e 2nd job
u need rest

bo,
pls cheer up
dun make me worry
smtms, thinking too hard bring no solution
juz leave everythg to fate k *^-^*
*hugz* love u

ps 2 . silly jilly, love u 2 !!

pls
zavier
stop smoking
stop drinking
stop takin pills
pls

i dunwan this ending
i dunwan u become like this
i dunwan u do thz cos of me

i've done enough hurt to u
stop hurting urself further

pls zavier

im really sorry
shouldnt start in e 1st place
its an unfair equation

there is juz no future
when e one in my heart is not u
im really sorry for hurting u,
for bringing u such harm n pain

hate me
i really dun deserve all these frm u
pls
u r still young,
dun stop searching.
pls.
u' ll find ur right one
zhen de

pls, Z, move on
n dun do stupid thgs becos of me
no pills no alcohol no smoking
pls

miserable days
miserable holidays

-lost-
increasing my wrkin hrs
reducing my slpin hrs
reducing my thinkin hrs

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
zavier,
thx for bringing colour into my life
u showered me wif love
u made me feel smthg i nv had b4
u treated me like a princess
thank you so much

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
bo
i knw hw u feel
a thin line between frenship & r'ship
this is life =]
no matter wat
juz rem
i love u

it was already history
watever happened
watever tat hurt us,
already gone...

lets not tok abt it anymre
sori if i bring up e issue
juz... let it go..

seeing urs n sm1's blog..
glad tat u2r happily tog,
whether u2 r tog anot.
at least,
u r happy wif each other's company.
well..
i hope this is wat u wan.
i hope u guys r happy.

harsh words r out,
n u shd know me well.
i muz admit those words r strong,
too strong maybe..
sori.

lets
juz
move
on

treasure wat u hav now.
dun let history take place again.

out of curious
i went to some1's blog
by accident
discovered a self-stabbing fact

so u lied to me
we break n patch for countless tms
u left me for some1
i cried i begged i struggled
we got bck tog
u said no mre such thg in future
so we got tog
thot evrythg bck to peace
den
today, only till today
i realized
i was cheated
u 2 timed me
twice
thank you so much
thank you so so much
i trusted u in e 1st betrayal incident
den
u stabbed me again
silently
deeply

i thot i could still remain close wif u
even at this moment
but
i was wrong

u
dun
deserve
my
any emotion
any feeling
anymore

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE

6 dec 05 :
1st day of exam
eng pper
woke up in blur state..
until i saw u
keke yes, again..
saw u at bus stop
althot a road across,
ur cal woke me up
till u board e bus,
e cal really is energising
*^-^*

7 dec 05:
studied maths till 2036 in sch..
bloody packed wif x & y & z...
i juz hate blooody maths~~

lky: sori, didnt mean to do tat outside e loundge
will stop tat le.
juz .. kinda stressed lately..
no mre after exam
i promise, ok =]

cat: sori my deary...
as i promised, no mre after wat i hav.
*hugz*

bo: i miss u..
need a hug frm u desperately..
*muack*

3 days in a roll
saw u at bus stop in town
delighted *^-^*

took bus hm..
not much conversatn thou..
as usual
u sent me bck

our 1st contact
after so lng..
den u whispered
"move on"

eyes.. becom watery
heart.. start bleedin thru a small hole

r u tat gd?
i duno.
r u worth it?
yes u do.
wats wrong wif me?
i duno.
am i nuts?
yes i am.

am i wakin up, or juz fallin deeper?

it has becom a habit
tat i turn my head to e left
n right, see if u walk pass

not much hope
juz a habit now

was quite sian..
doin same stuff at wrk..
till u drop by,
waved gd bye
*^-^*
refreshed!!

hyper all e way till i wnd work

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

bo: im waiting for our diamond
a belly diamond stud !!
COOL !!

*hugz* love u too~~
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

was so surprise to see u on bus..
thot who kajiao..
purposely wan me squeeze inside e seat..
keke
*^-^* turn out to be u

was raining..
e weather tat u hate..
yet u walk me bck

"im hungry.."
"go supper lo.."
YEAHIE!

so,
we walk bck my hm,
u wait for me to bath.
den,
we walk to ur place,
drop ur stuff,
got changed.
set off for supper.

walked in rain,
u held e umbrella all e way,
not letting e rain worsen my flu..
=]

yong tau fu was sweet even w/o sweet sauce.
hahaha
*bleahz*

once again,
walked in rain,
u sent me bck
^-^
onli left when i wave gd bye at my door step
*sweet*

so happy~~
thank you u ~~

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

flu has got dwn.
10Q ber,
no worries,
i can still wrk ^-^
I am STRONG !!

havin a combo meal now
1) red little pills for running nose
2) orange big pills for fever
3) borwn bottle of syrup for cough

total: S$24
free mbership for Heng's Clinic
-_-

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
suppose go manicure 2day
end up rotting,
slp-walkin at hm
duh...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
an achievement after moved out:
learnt hw to swallow pills
OF ALL KINDS N SIZEZ

ma de......