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i wanna cry... but i cant... tears juz dunwan to fall from my eyes...

crying deep down is much much more pain than i could imagine...

how long more can i take?

i'm lost... totally lost... wat should i do?????? i duno.... i'm so in pain... can someone pls hold my hand n lead me e way....

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--= ×Ô¼ºÒ²Ãþ²»Çå³þµÄÄÚÐÄ ÓÐË­ÄÜΪÎÒÆÊ¿ª½²½â =--

i will be away from 17 to 20 dec 04... for my 2nd camp of e year.. anything pls call my HP...

choices are always confusing. when i have A, i will want to know wat will happen if i have B instead. if i left A n go for B, i may suffer unknown yet GREAT pain n tears...

decision sucks...

--= a key in hand, yet relectant n unwilling to turn e lock =--

wo bu kai xin ...

Senior NCo camp has come to an end on 12 dec 04. kinda miss my kids n my AGA of my team.. PANTHERS!! hahaha the PINKY PANTHERS!!
day 1 is quite ok. not much physical requirement, programmes quite bored too.

day 2 starts wif much head-shaking... e sit test is super badly done lor.. skull fracture still can piggy back done de.. casualty dead lor.. den comes the MOI, BORING n SLPY =p endurance is a surprise. a red boy of mine actually endure thru out e whole 965 push up done by his platoon mates n complete it to 1000. really feel xin tong lor.. all sweat n redden face.. his determination really shock me.. was so relief tat he survived it all.
actvation is tiring n laughter!! run all e way up to judge my kids.. kao.. they all scatter in e dark building of EVSS.. nearly split up myself ah.. den saw my dear AGA in 3rd floor.. muhahaha his act of crazy guy award him a 100 ah!! cant stop laughing by his act... n of cos cant miss cheow hong's "AH"ing... =D

day 3 n day 4 is killing la.. 1st station of downtown hunt is from tampines to kempangan... SIAO lor!! i have 6 RED TAGS in my team k!! book out for grandma's BD dinner, onli came back after it.. so sad.. cant see my PANTHERS perform.

day 4 is a sad day. photo taking.. haha so fun.. was studying hw many pretty babes n handsome guys in SNCO wif my DEAR AGA. took quite some fotos wor!! den i gave a KIT KAT to each of my PATHERS =p well... 1 of em even cry wor.. haha miss me rite... BHB *bleah*

i'm gonna miss SNCO 2004 !!

--= PAIN is temporary, PRIDE is forever !!! =--

wha lao !!!! grad nite dinner at my JC SCH FIELD !! OMG... wat am i going to wear? halter n hot pants wif slippers? formal dress? i heard some1 from other classes are actually wearing GOWN !! imagine long floor-dragging dress on grass?? eeeeeee.... like pulling all e insects n grass to urself lor.. or rather.. cleaning e sch field... =p

mom is here till 22th =] so gotta pei her KEKE aunt is holding a dinner to celebrate grandma's 80 BD on 11.12.04 ,so no choice, have to sneak out from snco for a few hours la.. haha

oh! had a great steamboat dinner with 7 of my pri sch frenz at marina yday wor !! i ate alot!! crap alot too...

--= long term resting will bring u no where =--